Marriage is a lot like a roller coaster
You have extreme highs and you can have some pretty extreme lows, but the ride is worth it.
Being an undergraduate and an entrepreneur was one thing I’ve always wanted.
I remember going to deliver to one of my regular customers and I met Kayode. We talked at length and he even joked about becoming my delivery boy or betterstill PA.
He had a good sense of humour so it was quite easy for us to vibe
At the end we exchanged contacts.
Kayode and I were already an item
He was that supportive that one would have thought we both hatched the idea of me selling wears.
Despite his busy schedule he would still find time to help a baby girl grow
It was at this point I knew he was the one.
If a soothsayer had said things would go wrong in few years to come, I’d definitely doubt him/her.
Service year came faster than excepted
Kayode proposed and I agreed to spend forever with him.
After NYSC one would have thought I would opt for a white collar job
But no, asides having a 2nd class lower division in MCB, I already had a niche in selling of wears.
So I settled for that and with the help of Kayode, I was able to add other few things.
We were both making good money because he had a good job with a fat pay and I was making a whole lot of sales which in turn generated more profit for me.
We got married on the 23rd of Dec, 2017.
Feb: Two months after our wedding I was already carrying our first child
July: my tiny self was already becoming round, having fat in my face and other parts of my body, on my part I was enjoying the new weight because I’ve never gotten this big (lol) but Kayode on his end wasn’t having any of it, he got irritated at every chance, even at that I’d still try to make him understand it wasn’t all my fault that I was getting bigger, and his reply would be ‘ it’s cos you’re eating way too much’, wait am I supposed to starve myself?
Kayode changed and it was so evident, but I never allowed it affect me cos I’ve read alot on how men change when their wives get pregnant and all of that
Business was going fine, baby was growing, I was breaking out, glowing and that’s important to me
Nov 15: I experienced a life changing moment, I saw another part of me, the new love of my life, the reason I was being called ‘mummy’.
16th: I was discharged the next day, Kayode played his part by driving us home, he also helped get some necessities for the new born but the funny thing is he didn’t touch his baby, I was a bit concerned but I was happy I have my own baby in my arms
Two weeks after the birth of DiekoloreOluwa, I started noticing some changes in her, the skin colour wasn’t all that pink and the colour of her urine also, Kayode’s mother who was around also noticed it and said her last son also had the same thing and all she did then was keep him outside every morning before 10am, that sunlight at that time releases a kind of vitamin that would help get her back the pink colour.
For a week straight, Dieko and myself were exposed to sunlight but this didn’t change anything, it was then I had to take her back to the hospital, in the midst of all of these Kayode never showed interest in our affairs.
It was at the hospital that the paediatrician asked if I noticed things which I confirmed.
After some tests, Dr. Wilson made it known to me that my baby’s bilirubin level was high, that she has jaundice and it could result into ‘kernicterus’, whilst saying this I had a lot racing through my mind and all I managed to say ask was if she won’t die, Dr. Wilson asked if I had an idea what ‘kernicterus’ was, which I answered no to, and he proceeded to say that it meant brain damage.
She’s not going to die, is she? Was all I could say, my throat was too dry for me to utter any other word, it was hard swallowing my own saliva, I felt like I lost a few KGs in less than an hour, all I was waiting to hear from him was that my love isn’t going to die.
I called Kayode after Dr. Wilson explained everything to me, told him we might even lose Dieko cos her bilirubin level was just too high and all ny husband or rather the father of my child could say was I should sort things out that he’d call back, I had to brace myself up and I wasn’t going to do or say something that would ruin other things.
Dec 6th: heaven gained an angel Diekoloreoluwa Jasmine Phillips,
You were lying in my arms,
As I tried to say goodbye,
I gazed at your little handprint,
Given to us that day,
But I’m glad you wouldn’t feel pain again,
You fought for every breath you took,
Never letting go,
Until one day God made you His,
Leaving all of us,
Rest well my angel.
Dieko’s death wasn’t easy on me a bit, but her death brought Kayode back to sanity, he was all by me, but I’d have loved if she was with us.
Kayode got back home one day and explained alot of things to me, how things went from bad to worse, one of the reasons he started acting up at home, that he didn’t explain to me cause he didn’t want to bother me.
But, whatever happened to communication between partners or maybe I was the selfish one that was more interested in the bundle of joy I was expecting then that didn’t make me pester him more to talk?
I decided to split all I had in my account which I gave my husband half of, so he could fix some things up, he rejected at first and after a lot of persuasion he agreed.
23rd of Dec 2018,
Our first anniversary, it was on a Sunday, we went to church together and got back home together.
It wasn’t upto an hour that he said he was going to get something
My instincts guessed it was a surprise package to celebrate our anniversary
And yes, I was right.
He came home with this ‘nice’ package and said he would like us to renew our vows under our roof.
It was amazing watching Kayode repeat the same words he said to me last year, not shedding a tear was pretty hard for me, remembering all that happened in a time frame of just a year.
It was then I realized how much of a roller coaster ride this world is Kayode Phillips gave me more reasons to love him again and I believe very soon, I’d be holding on to my baby girl ‘Diekoloreoluwa 💚’.