Smiling Is Not Equal To Happiness


She sat right there on her favorite white chair
I could feel her eyes piercing my heart
She appeared cold
Just too cold
She opened her mouth and uttered some words
I didn’t hear what she said
The pointed to my where I placed my phone
The phone was on silent but it showed that someone was calling
As I stretched my hand to pick the phone up
I felt her cold hand on mine…

I woke up with this severe migraine
After having a near to death nightmare
I couldn’t decide to cry or just pray
At the end, the tears came

Few weeks back my life was like that of every other teenager
My name is ‘Derayo
I used to have a best friend called Arinola
Arinola and myself had gotten so used to each other that we could pass for sisters
I think we actually had a resemblance
Except for the fact that she was a bit taller

Arinola’s family are the busy type and they barely have time for her
So it’s more like she stays with me
This was our second year of writing jamb
The first I got admitted but her name wasn’t on the admission list
I had to lie about the whole admission thing at home
So we could get in together the following year (this year)
Which at the end got me into trouble (inevitably)
I gained admission for the second time
But Arinola didn’t make
This time my dad was very much involved in my admission process
That there was no way I could pull a fast one

Well, I got into school
First month into resumption
I was still very much in contact with Arinola
The second month, school stress was already wearing me out
That if she doesn’t call me
We won’t talk
At times I don’t even pick her calls
And returning calls is another thing
Arinola still kept doing her thing

One day after CHM practical
I got to my hostel exhausted
So I had to leave my phone on ‘silent’
That was the only way I could rest properly
I woke up and saw 6 missed calls from Arinola
I woke up hungry, so I decided to call her after eating
I forgot to call Arinola

The next day in class I got a text from her
‘I wantu talk to you and you won’t even pick your calls’
After the class I tried reaching but Airtel would always want to have their way
I wasn’t really bothered about the text cos I felt it’s one of her ways of stressing my life with her plenty ‘gist’
In the evening I got a text from my sister that Arinola is dead

I couldn’t even find the tears
I’ve always known Arinola’s family members to be carefree
I was like the only one she told how she felt exactly
I thought she was happy
For crying out loud, she was always smiling
Arinola committed suicide because she felt no one cared about her
I knew within me that I cared
But maybe I just didn’t show it enough

I didn’t kill Arinola
I’m sure of this
But if I had called her back after seeing the missed calls, she would have told me what’s wrong at the moment
Or if Airtel had not chosen to be unfortunate when I called her the next day
I would have probably being reaching out to her at every point in time, if I had not concluded that she was a very happy person cos she smiles a lot.


1 Comment
  1. IreMide says

    Nice one my darling 😍

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